Today, it's the 30th October 2019 and as I type this, our perfect 1 month old daughter is sleeping peacefully in a Moses Basket next to me. Michael and I were blessed with a healthy, adorable baby girl on the 30th September and we have been in awe of her from the second she was born.
Everly Charlotte Archer was born in the Ulster Hospital, Dundonald at just 37 weeks gestation. She was brought into the world in the same theatre as her big sister was, but by planned C-Section this time. She is the image of her Daddy and shares many of Hallie's features too. Looking at Everly is like looking at what Hallie would have looked like at full term, they are little twins. And oh, how loved they both are by not just Michael and I, but by everyone around us.
My 3rd pregnancy was the easiest in many ways. Mentally however, it was the hardest. I was, understandably, incredibly anxious and constantly waiting for bad news to come. I never really let myself believe that a baby would ever come home with us. As the months and milestones ticked by uneventfully, we couldn't believe our luck but we still refused to let our guard down. There were many tears and visits to the emergency obstetrics unit to get checked over when I was convinced something was wrong. It never was. I tried to enjoy being pregnant; I embraced my bump and every kick, roll, flip and hiccup I felt and couldn't help but fall in love with the little life growing inside me.
By the final months we were desperate for this pregnancy to have a happy ending but things started to get a little scary at 35 weeks when I developed a serious liver condition called Obstetric Cholestasis. The first sign of OC in pregnancy is intense itching, particularly on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet. Once diagnosed, I needed to attend the Ulster Hospital for weekly blood draws, liver function tests and CTG monitoring to keep an eye on the baby as well as medication to control my bile acid levels. My anxiety was through the roof, especially as Cholestasis increases the risk of stillbirth. Eventually, they decided to move my delivery date from 11th October (39 weeks) to 30th September (37 weeks) to be on the safe side. I was given steroid injections to help baby's lungs mature & little Everly was thankfully delivered in perfect health with no issues whatsoever.
Spending so much time in the same hospital where we experienced everything with Hallie was difficult. Walking out the front doors of the Maternity Unit with a healthy baby in a car seat was incredibly emotional having walked out empty handed just 14 months earlier. I sat in the back of the car staring at our sleeping baby on the drive home, tears streaming down my face thinking about how far we had come to get to this point. I can't quite believe we made it through, but we did. We feel so, so lucky to have our little one in our arms at last.
Everly is 1 month old today. We have loved every second of being new parents - it's hard, tiring, trying but incredibly rewarding. Everly is just a dream. She's beautiful, mostly sleepy, sometimes bright eyed and animated - she completely captures the hearts of everyone who meets her. She's just that little bit more special considering the journey it took to get her here and I think everyone feels emotional at meeting her. It's like meeting Hallie. They share the same DNA, the same little nose and lips. It's completely magical.
Getting to do all the usual new-parent things is bittersweet; walks in the park with the pram and the puppy, introducing baby to friends and family, decorating a nursery... we're constantly thinking about what we missed out on with Hallie. But when Everly holds eye contact with me or smiles in her sleep, I feel like I'm seeing glimpses of Hallie too. When Everly cries I wonder if Hallie would have sounded just like her. Having Everly makes me feel closer to her big sister in so many ways & it's such a blessing.
Pregnancy and parenting after loss is hard. Harder than anyone who hasn't experienced it can really fathom. I hope that our story can bring hope to anyone going through a loss or struggling to start a family. Ours is a story of endurance, resilience and determination. We would encourage anyone in the depths of despair to keep going - never give up. Miracles can happen.
The greater the storm, the brighter the rainbow.
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